Failing forward

Life can get extremely discouraging.

Sometimes no matter what you are doing things don’t seem to go your way.

Especially after a tragedy, no matter how minor, can send your thoughts cascading into the abyss where it’s so hard to crawl out of.

And once your thoughts turn dark then the light parts of your life also start to slip into the abyss.

I know all these things from personal experience. Withdrawing from school for my health, losing my job because I’m no longer a student, and I can feel other parts of my life failing as I sit and feel sorry for myself.

This is not the answer. I know that I control my reality. Everything going on is a product of a thought I had in the past. Whether intentional or not. That is my belief. And I have personal truth in that statement.

Because I control my reality I know I will recover quickly from this mishap. This is not my life.

But anyway this post is about failing forward!! Because a failure is never truly a failure if you learn from it. Take power from your failure, even if it’s something simple. If you made a mistake you learned how not to do that thing.

If you hurt someone, you learned that your actions effect the people around you.

If you hurt yourself, you learned more about your own limits. Failing is not a bad thing. It may cost you a little extra time to learn a lesson the hard way. But you will get passed it!!

Don’t lose yourself in a failure, build yourself up from the lessons you’ve learned from it.

How picking up a hula-hoop changed my body

In April of 2017 I picked up a hula hoop with intention of learning how to hoop dance! I bought myself a hoop and started feverishly watching videos online of how to do things. On top of it all I joined an Instagram challenge that required doing different styles of tricks every day.

I had spun fire poi Years before so flow was not something completely foreign to me, and this wasn’t the first time I had picked up a hoop. So by the end of the Instagram challenge I had a pretty good set of skills that made playing with my hoop so much more fun!

More than anything I’ve ever done with my body I love circus arts. What kid doesn’t wish they could run away and join the circus right? But for me that dream is so real that my goal by the end of 2020 is to have toured because of my hooping/circus acts! But anyway this is more about how my body has changed since I started hooping.

This photo was taken during day 4 of my hoop challenge. Before you say anything! I have always loved my body. But I have not always been as healthy as I am right now. I was not as healthy in this photo. I know I wasn’t fat. But the shape of my body has changed. Here I can see my stomach was bloated because I wasn’t eating right, love handles and my booty was made to appear much larger because it swallowed my love handles! Lol hooping my little heart out for an hour a day, which can be pretty intense cardio leads me to my most recent body picture.

Now hooping is not the only thing I changed! The cardio from hooping definitely helped my lose water weight and a significant amount of mass. However I also started treating my body with more respect. I wanted to improve my hoop skills and I needed to be more agile to do so. So about 6 months in stretching every day became so important. Eating correctly, this is a big one. How can you maintain a performance vehicle if you treat it like a beater? You have to fuel your body correctly. Another significant change that came from the people I connected with was my family eats vegan at least 3 nights a week. It saves your grocery bill, as well as gets rid of crazy amounts of cholesterol and can change your body chemistry.

There is so much more to it than what I can describe in a blog post. Yes the cardio helped me get more fit, yes my passion for hooping has pushed me to work my body in several other ways to be a better hooper. But it also made me part of a community. If you have a hoop in hand and another hooper sees you you are friends. Automatically. The least judge mental most open people I’ve ever met are the ones in the hooping/circus/fire community.

Lots has changed since I began my hoop journey. I actually think I’m gonna create a hoop workout video for those that are interested? I’ll post it here with an edit once it’s done. If there has been an activity you’ve always wanted to try but never thought you had the time? Just do it! It might even change your life.

Having Health Problems

Anyone who knows me knows I practically grew up in a hospital. Not because I was ever sick, my mother has had several hernia surgeries, almost died from a tooth infection, had a full hysterectomy due to cervical cancer, the hormone replacement therapy gave her pancreatitis which has her in the hospital every couple years, and just won a battle with Leukemia. And I am always there to hold her hand.

Just before my mother’s leukemia diagnosis I had just started the journey to fix my teeth. I’d had 6 cavities filled and was scheduled for my 7th and missed it because I was with her in the hospital. I put my teeth out of my mind and fought to focus on school putting my teeth on the back burner. Almost a year later I got a call from my doctor letting me know I was due for a pap. Yay, so I went ahead and scheduled it, got it out of the way and put it out of my mind. A week later I got a letter on the mail saying the results from the pap were abnormal and I needed to make an appointment to have my cervix biopsied. I tried hard to focus on school with this news, which to an average person is upsetting, but because of my mother’s history this news sent me spiraling down into a pit of anxiety.

Two weeks later I was back at the doctor. For those that haven’t had the wonderful experience a colposcopy is even more offensive than a pap. Because they take 2-5 clippings of your cervix. No numbing. It’s just a little syringe like device that collects the cells. It feels like pinching. They send the clippings off for further testing. A week later I got results that I had moderate dysplasia and I needed a leep procedure.

I decided to try and enjoy the rest of my summer break before scheduling my appointment. Of course then it took 2 months to get an appointment because of health insurance. While I was battling to get the appointment I started suffering with an intense tooth ache. Half way through my second day with the toothache I decided I needed to visit my dentist.

My dentist informed me that the infection in my tooth was so bad she thought I may need to visit the ER for IV antibiotics, but that we may have caught it in time to just get on pill antibiotics. By the time I got the pills I was in so much pain I almost went to the ER anyway. After 3x the pain killers they suggested, a joint, and a cup of weed tea the pain finally subsided and I got to sleep. A few days later I had 2 wisdom teeth and a molar removed.

On the X-ray that my dentist took the year previous she noticed a mass in my sinus that had her a little concerned. She did a current X-ray to see if the mass was still present. It was and she suggested that I go see an ENT to have it checked. Because she’s a dentist she was not allowed to tell me what she thought of it, I go in today to find out what it is.

Once I was over my teeth I finally got the appointment for my LEEP settled. A Leep is an electrical loop procedure. A loop with electricity pumping through it cuts and cauterizes at the same time. Used to scrape 5-8mm of tissue off the cervix.

Worst 5 minutes of my life. Starts as any normal pap would with the speculum. They numb the cervix with 4 injections, which not only numbed the area but made my face tingle and made me super loopy. Once the area was numb she made 3-4 passes with the loop to get the effected area to send off to pathology. 3 weeks no sex with clear to slightly bloody discharge. The scrapings she took were sent to pathology and it will be determined if she got all the bad cells or if more drastic measures need to be taken. Will update when I get the results. An added layer of anxiety was added when my mother told me that she had a similar procedure at my age(cold knife conization) and she almost bled to death. So I was a little panicked. But thankful when I was done.

It’s been tough to keep my spirits high when it feels like everything is falling out from beneath me. But I keep my chin held high and smile every chance I get. It’s almost over, once the mass in my sinus is identified I’m done with doctors. The struggles I have been having are proof that you can eat right, exercise regularly, live a healthy lifestyle and still get sick. Rather than diving head first off the wagon I remind myself that my healthy lifestyle is so important for how I recover from the procedures that I’m having done. Keep me in your thoughts! Thank you!

Things I do to beat Stress

In this day and age it is almost impossible to not deal with a certain amount of stress. It is a nast bugger of a thing that can compromise your immune system, cause digestional upset, affect your sleep, the quality of your skin, as well as your blood pressure and other cardiac problems. Stress is a serious issue, so here are a few ways I use to help melt the stress off of me.

  1. Exercise

I know this one can be a pain in the butt. And in particular if you don’t have time/motivation to do cardio some simple stretches focused mostly on your shoulders can be extremely therapeutic.

2. Taking a hot bath OR shower

While a bath is best for the even distribution of heat, sometimes you just don’t have time. If this is the case you can take a few drops of essential oils, like lavender, and put them in the bottom of the shower. I also like to add drops to the top of the shower head so the heat with pitch the lovely smells all around you. I also like to shut off the lights, light a few candles and do some breathing exercises while I imagine physically letting go of whatever problems are plaguing me.

3. GABA

GABA is a lozenge I take when I am driving, its purpose is to relieve anxiety, giving an overall sense of well-being. After I had a child my anxiety went from being something average, to something I have seriously questioned seeing a doctor about. But after introducing GABA to my routine things like my eye twitch have stopped and my anxiety is back to a manageable level. This is not a claim made by manufactures but I notice a significant difference in my memory when I am taking it as well.

4. Meditation

I know this is yet another tedious activity and the inability to adequately meditate can even sometimes add to the stress you are trying to get rid of. I think this is because meditation is something people over think. Yes it is about training your brain to be quiet, but this comes in so many more forms than just sitting on the floor with your hands in your lap saying “om”. I do most of my serious meditation while I am looking in a mirror, or sitting in the bottom of the shower because the hissing water is easy to listen to. You just have to find the practice that best allows you to release the tension: Look at a fire, look at a candle, watch the sky day or night, lay on the floor and listen to music(You can find instrumental versions of your favorite songs even! unless thinking of the lyrics distracts you then other sounds may be more beneficial).

5. A creative outlet

This one is a struggle for me, because I am interested in so many things! I have a blog, a vlog here https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCkZMdWGuI-O8qCKPxypR7Pg?view_as=subscriber    countless art projects and business ideas that I just haven’t had time to get around to but the constant flow of ideas is extremely therapeutic.

The moral of this post was to hopefully give some advice, and for you to take any of these ideas and put your own personal spin on it. You should constantly be checking in with yourself and participating in self care at least once a week! Its mostly just that you need to do things that make YOU feel better. But I would suggest not letting TV be your destress. Our brains go into observer mode when we watch tv so it is not actually working through its current problems. If you have any questions please feel free to message me I want to hear from you!

Stretching before the splits! How I prepare my legs to attempt the splits!

I think the importance of stretching is greatly underplayed in our country. I believe stretching and keeping the body limber is the way to stay young forever.

These are all really basic stretches just to get the legs warm. I’ve been doing this every night and I have seen great progress.

Butterflies,

Straddle,

Pike,

Forward splits,

Sideways splits.

Will keep you updated on my progress.

This was posted over a year ago… and life got in the way!! I am back to stretching daily and will be posting a new video here shortly!!

Eyebrow Tinting at Home!!

This was actually a really simple!! I used just for men black beard and mustache dye!! What?!? Right?

Crazy! But I was so happy with the results. So all you do is follow the instructions for using the product. I don’t suggest using the brush that comes in the box, I’d use a eyelash brush. I did this time use the brush that came in the box.

The shape was Huge! And I had to scrub to get all the excess color off my skin. It says to leave on for 5 minutes. This seemed to be the perfect amount of time.

I usually have pretty blonde eyebrows so I was super happy with my results! Let me know if you have other tips!!

Blue Purple ombré hair at home!

Hey guys!! Totally did a thing today and colored my hair with a blue to purple ombré!! I think this is my new favorite style

Let me start with a photo of my hair before hand.

I know I’m such a ham, I was being encouraged to make duck lips! If you follow me on insta @lyfeoflaci you will see I almost never make duck lips!!!

Anyway back to the point. I have light brown/dark blonde very porous hair. By porous I mean my hair doesn’t hold onto color very well. It is very easily sun bleached and red tones won’t stay for anything! That brings me to

STEP 1: Lightening, for my hair I used a 30 Volume developer. Because I have virgin hair!! What?!? Yeah virgin, so it took me About 15 minutes with Wella brand lightening powder. I left 1-3 inches of root at the top of my head because I wanted dark roots. Most lightning powder will tell you to do this anyway.

I bought aqua and radiant orchid Ion Brights because they only called for a level 7 blonde that I knew would be easy to achieve without causing too much damage.

Make sure you have all the hair do accoutrement before you start. A bowl, a brush and gloves!! Make sure you do a strand test so you know how long to leave your lightener on for the level of blonde for what you want.

Your instructions will also tell you that you need to separate your hair into 1 inch sections. This is where a lot of people make mistakes because they think it’ll be fine to “wing it”. But don’t!! If you do larger chunks it’s more likely you’ll miss parts. It’s also better if you have foil but I have been known to use a grocery store sack to keep the product from drying out. That causes damage!!

STEP 2: Start with the blue! A section at a time I added 3-5 inches of blue. Over the entire head, the hairs that were only this length are completely blue.

STEP 3: Add the purple!! Starting at the back go back through your sections and blend the blue and purple! Then leave it!! I left my colors on for 2 hours, and hit it with a blow dryer once when I first put it on, and once again before rinsing. I also took this time to tint my eyebrows!! Follow this link to the post about how I tinted my eyebrows at home!!

https://shygirlsguidetoconfidence.wordpress.com/2018/08/11/eyebrow-tinting-at-home/

STEP 4: Rinse, blow dry, style and most importantly make sure you didn’t miss any spots!! I always buy enough dye for 3 rounds, first, fixing mistakes then maintenance.

Hope you enjoyed!

How to Beat the Bloat

Hey guys!! I get lots of questions about how I handle being bloated, or if there really is a way to eliminate the bloat once it starts. YES YES YES!!! I hate being bloated, I think it’s a terrible feeling, so here are the three things I do to “beat” or prevent bloating.

1. WATER WATER WATER

I cannot stress enough how important your water intake is! The more water you drink, the less water your body thinks it needs to hold onto! Bloating can be caused by water retention, in times of drought your body holds onto water to keep from dehydration when there are long periods between water intake. So not only the amount of water but making sure your body is consistently taking water in so that it doesn’t think it’s in a drought. When I am bloated I double my water intake so my body more easily flushes the stores water it doesn’t need.

2. Antacids

This may sound kinda silly, but bloating is also sometimes caused by excess gas! Yuck! So taking a daily antacid can help keep bloating due to gas at a minimum. I personally use Omeprazol, it’s a daily tablet you take. And you will be surprised as how much it changes your body. I originally started taking them because I was having a belching problem. After everything I ate I would belch for hours. Not painful just annoying that it was happening. After a week of taking them I also noticed that it helped with the bloating. Since I take them every day with my vitamins it’s easy to remember.

4. Eating anti inflammatory foods!!

This is SO IMPORTANT!! Things in your diet like red meat, refined carbohydrates, soda, fried foods are all things that can cause inflammation in your whole body!! I’m not saying stop eating these forever. I eat them on occasion, and every time I do I’m bloated for 12-24 hours later. Awful! But you can balance your diet with leafy greens, olive oil, tomatoes, fatty fish, fruits and nuts!! These are all foods that combat the bloat!! So if you wanna look fly and like you spent the weekend shedding pounds, double your water intake, grab an antacid from your local pharmacy and eat a plant rich diet and watch how your body changes!!

5 Traits to appear Confident

These are 5 things that I think make me appear as a confident person, not just in a sexual way but also for job interviews, and daily life. Please enjoy!

1. Smile

Your smile says so much about you! Idk about you but I have to consciously make myself smile. I have a serious case of “resting bitch face”. But when I smile and laugh a deep throaty laugh that tends to tell people that I am comfortable with myself, and confident that I understand my situation. I am also very aggressive, both in a sexual way as well as with my passions and sharing them! I only speak on topics that I know enough about to not sound foolish. And there are still people who will tell me I’m wrong and try to make me look foolish. And I will either politely correct them or see #4.

2. Don’t react

Instead of having an instant reaction to something that is happening in your life it can be important to take a deep breath. Instead of reacting to your life it is valuable to be examined before action. You cannot change the way the world is but you can change the way you look at it and how you feel about it. One thing I hear about myself all the time is my positive outlook. There is always a silver lining, even in the worst situations. My mother had leukemia, well that’s ok because I’ve always wanted to shave my head (she’s fine btw). That’s a pretty bleak example, it can be difficult to find the light but it is all about how you view it.

3. Be sure of what you are saying

I try not to speak about things that I don’t know. I never try to sound smarter than I really am. There is a difference between joining a conversation and admitting you don’t know much on the topic, and joining a conversation and give an opinion on something you don’t really know about. This is a great way to avoid bad impressions, and when a topic comes up that you do have a valid opinion on make sure you are vocal. Speak loud and directly and you will be recognized as an authority.

4. Know when to admit you are wrong

Someone who is confident is not afraid to admit they are wrong. Because this makes you appear as honest. Don’t feel bad for being wrong either, it takes a big person to admit that they are wrong, it takes a bigger person. To not let that failure bring you to a point of less power.

5. Your physical appearance.

This is a dicey topic. Please don’t not mistake me, YOU DO NOT HAVE TO BE A SUPER MODEL TO BE CONFIDENT. Ok now that that’s out of the way, you should be the best version of yourself that you can be! Own yourself, if you are curvy? #curvygirls if you are skinny? #skinnybitch be who you are, that is more in style than anything on the runway, if you dress, act, speak, and be your favorite version of yourself even if you are a goofball that is confidence. If you like it, but you don’t wear it/do it for fear of what others think….

Bonus

6. Stop giving a fuck what others think.

I guess this is actually the most important part right? The only person whose opinion matters of you in YOU. Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission -Elenor Roosevelt.

The Mental Health Post

I think it is important to talk about mental health. Especially for someone like me! Because I spend all my time talking about positivity and smiling and trying to give people a way to see the silver lining it is usually hard to imagine myself as being “troubled” in any way. When in fact it is quite the opposite.

Depression

I struggled with depression through much of my teenage years. Smoking marijuana and drinking at age thirteen. That was also the first time I attempted to take my life. Not in the best way, taking a handful of Tylenol pm and hoping to not wake up in the morning. All it did was give me a massive tummy ache and spent the night awake vomiting. There was a lot of self medicating, mostly with alcohol, sometimes marijuana. As i turned 18 the ways I was medicating started getting more intense. Soon becoming pain killers and ecstasy accompanied by alcohol. The final push into depression was being on birth control and my hormones being wildly out of control. I constantly found myself angry at inanimate objects, yelling and grinding my teeth losing my patience. Again at 19 I found myself trying to end my life, but a friend was able to pull me out of my mindset. That day I changed the way I viewed the world. Decided to be in control of my own fate and to not let fear or my own emotions rule my life. I do realize this is a harder thing to reach for most people. It was kinda like I woke up.

Anxiety

While I haven’t suffered from depression since I was 19 (this was also about the time my drug usage slowed and was limited). I do still have anxiety that runs out of control sometimes. It usually starts innocently with a thought about something that is concerning me, that thought leads to a worse thought and my mind starts spinning out of control, I call it spiraling down because I can literally feel my energy being in my upper seals down to my gut. There are tears and usually some hyperventilating, which I have no choice but to talk myself out of because it usually occurs when I am driving, and I don’t want to get in an accident. There are things I do trying to keep my anxiety at bay, taking gaba, taking quite time by myself (usually in the shower with the lights off and candles) and

SELF CARE

Everyone needs to do things that make them happy. I have so many self care rituals, several things that I can turn to depending on the mood I am in. Crochet when I’m lazy and in bed, hula hooping for when I need to let out some energy, skating once a week because it’s happy family time, gardening, walking, music, blogging (cough cough), and my instagram profile, because when I feel like I am helping others nothing really makes me happier. But you can’t pour water from an empty cup and you should always make sure your own cup is full before helping anyone else.