It’s no secret, in the past I treated online dating like a competitive sport. Being a single mom that decided to go back to college at 25 with a bunch of 18 year olds, my dating pool was relatively slim. There was the occasional shining star in my classes that would be my age, but unfortunately i learned my lesson abut dating classmates.
Pro-Tip: Dont date colleagues. Especially if you are sereal dating. You will likely end things with them making classes/work or your daily life ucomfortable… DONT DO IT.
Stick to online dating. Which brings me to my top tips for being sucessful at online dating.
1. Its a Numbers Game
I have a lot of friends who frequently give up very quickly with online dating because they aren’t getting matches. Or because the matches that they get aren’t valuable. And I ask all of them the same thing, “How many swipes do you do in a day?” And they usually give me a number between 1-10. This simply isn’t enough. If you actually want to meet someone, or go on dates, swipe until the app runs out of options for you. Often I wold keep my acceptable distance low, swipe through all the eligible dudes in a 5 mile radius then increase incrementally. But the point is, I would spend at least 30 minutes a night swiping through pictures, and evaluating my options.
2. Don’t be too Picky
For initial swipes i would try to mot be overly picky. I set a top 3 criteria. First i would see if their picture caught my attention. Usually their eyes, or if the picture was funny. Because, let’s be honest ladies a sense of humor is very sexy. If the picture caught my attention, then i would read his profile. I had a personal set of standards when it comes to guys i would swipe. Like not swiping on guys that had nothing written in their profile. This was a hard fast rule. Even though I wasn’t looking for anything serious I still needed to have an intellectual connection with guys I was talking to. Then it was the education section, which could be overlooked if their description was witty enough. So the first swipe wouldn’t be too critical. I also wouldn’t send a message immediately on a match. I would wait until i ran out of swipe-able material then go through and be more picky about who I sent messages to.
3. Curate the Best Profile
I wrote a whole blog post about making the perfect profile here
But basically, make sure you curate your pictures based on your goals for tinder. Be it adventure, sex, friendship, dating, casual fun. Also pay attention to what is in someone’s profile. If they say they are looking for fun and you are looking for something more serious… don’t kid yourself. Or be open to what their goals are. Don’t try to change people.
4. Be Aggressive
Be aggressive, be-e aggressive! If someone’s profile really speaks to you, send them a message first. And try to come up with something clever. My favorite intro is if they have a joke in their profile, i send a message that either responds to or teases them about the joke in their profile. This shows not only that you are going to go after what you want, but you are interested enough in who they are to read their profile and understand it! You cant leave it up to the other person. if you are serious about meeting people you have to reach out!
5. Be Consistent
This is probably the most important thing. You need to do this AT THE VERY LEAST once per week. If not every evening. When I was at my most active and going on 3 dates per week I would spend 30 minutes every night swiping. But be consistent. Implement the strategies I have list above as often as possible.
I hope these strategies work for you! Share your best and worst dating app experiences with me!