So I have decided to break my norms(not like this blog has any real theme or direction but that’s beside the point!) and do a series of short posts about love… and sex… Think about a popular 90’s TV show that I won’t name just in case of copywrite stuff… but let’s just say it’s kinda like Sax in a City… if you don’t know hit me up in the comments it’s one of my favorites and I highly recommend for ladies in their 20-30’s! Anyway! I am going to share some tips and little tidbits about my life and… I don’t want to say vast… but I have some experience to share with my lady readers.
Good things come to those who wait… but are they always good things? I personally wouldn’t change anything about my life, mistakes I’ve made, people I’ve met, or the experiences I’ve had. Even though some of those things were pretty awful. This story is an interesting one because it exhibits some of the power we have as humans and especially as women.
I met this guy at a party. It was a crazy weekend filled with so much alcohol. He and I were glued to each other for the full three day party. Exchanging stories, sharing cute moments, I mean seriously GLUED. If you have ever experienced the feeling where you are just sure that a person was meant to be part of your life, chances are… they will teach you something you will need in the future. Thankfully him putting his “claim” on me for that weekend kept me from engaging in activities I might not have been proud of in my future. Nothing happened between us that weekend, now that I’m thinking about it I’m not even really sure that he kissed me. At the end before dropping me off at home he did ask for my phone number and asked me on a legitimate date the following weekend. That weekend came and went with no word from the party boy. It was impossible for me to shake the feeling that he and I were supposed to be together. We had mutual friends but everyone insisted he was no good for me and wouldn’t put me In touch. His phone had been shut off… LADIES THIS IS A HUGE RED FLAG!! Don’t deal with a little boy who can’t even manage to get a phone bill paid… or who changes his number every three months because generally that means he makes money doing dishonest things*cough *
So 6 months go by, and my old phone started going off when I had plugged it into my charger… what?! It was a notification letting me know it was Party Boys birthday. So I contacted a mutual friend to wish him a happy birthday and received a phone call. Oooo this was my chance! I had thought about him for six months and this was my chance to be the cool confident girl we are always told boys want. Dinner plans! The goal was to be hot, sexy and completely noncommittal. I could take him or leave him, because one thing Is for certain… humans want what we can’t have. So even though I wanted him more than I wanted to eat an entire sheet cake, I needed to act like I didn’t.
Now on first dates I have a strategy (I can go into more depth on another post if you’d like) that’s a delicate balance between talking about my goals, while also encouraging them to talk about themselves… another fact, humans love to talk about themselves. Duh Laci everyone here is listening to you talk about yourself… hmm… so I charmed the pants right off of him… Another important point to make when you are trying to seem not that interested in a guy, is to let them know you aren’t really looking for something serious, you just want to have fun. This can also be tricky, because you have to be prepared for things to go wrong, when a guy is particularly amazing it can be hard to not just fall head over heels and you lose that edge of cool noncommittal…
If all this sounds like a game? Well you would be right. The dating game. And when you are young I believe this game is absolutely necessary. Until you get to a place where you feel comfortable telling them your real feelings, the first few weeks to the first few months are crucial to NOT OVERWHELM YOUR PARTNER. It’s helpful if you can learn how to match energy, or at the very least pick out their vibe. Now, for the ladies in the back that REALLY don’t want the commitment, brutal honesty will be your best friend. But that’s a whole other story.
Phew, I’m getting a little wordy here. But he and I dated for about 6 months before we called it quits and vowed to stay friends. Avoided each other like the plague because at every party we ran into each other we would wind up having sex. This went on for a few years, until I ended up in a relationship with the actual devil… also another story… 10 years later and he and I talk on occasion, but I wouldn’t exactly call us friends. Now they say if you can be friends with an ex you either still love them, or you never really loved them to begin with. I know I cared for him, still do I care for people in my life, even ones I don’t like it’s a thing, but I don’t think we were ever really in love… all these stories will work up to when I truly fell in love 😍
Welp I hope you enjoyed, leave me a comment below! Even if it’s a “who fucking cares about you’re love life” I’ll take it! This is mostly like me journaling, maybe I’ll find material in here for a book? Till then, to all the single girls hoping for love? Keep your chin up!! You got this, and you are beautiful!!
You can catch me on Instagram @lyfeoflaci
Twitter(even though I’m largely inactive)@lyfeoflaci
And my YouTube channel here! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCkZMdWGuI-O8qCKPxypR7Pg